signs of verbal abuse :telling someone of a different race/ethnicity to get 'back to where they came from', being curt and unfriendly with someone (daily, all the time or frequently),
Focus on word definitions to derail a discussion. If one is trying to discuss an uncomfortable topic with a verbal abuser, the abuser will often focus on a particular word or set of words, disagree with how they were used in a sentence, usually assigning a new definition or intent to those words. The verbal abuser usually then claims a "knowledge" of the others intentions or motivation. The usual end result is that two to three sentences into an attempted discussion, the discussion is side-tracked into an argument as the other person attempts to explain and redefine what they meant. This can progress to the point the verbal abuser may insist that only they can determine the definition or intent of the other person's words. Once side-tracked the verbal abuser usually continues to reject any redefinition of words until the other person gets frustrated and gives up. The abuser has "won" the argument by avoiding discussion of the issue at hand.